Praying

So I wasn't going to post but I know that a lot of people are checking my blog to get an update, and seeing Liz's blog how much she has posted on Ryan's surgery I decided I would. Thanks for the inspiration Liz! Billy is doing really well. As well as he could be anyways. He has been very stable in the ICU. Yesterday he fought the sedation in the afternoon but got better at not fighting it at night and did a lot better with it today too. Nurse Taylor told me that he didn't give him a hard time today lol. They tell me that they can tell that he is a fighter and that he is strong, and that they can tell he will be determined to have a strong recovery. It was so weird yesterday when he was fighting the sedation to see him open his eyes. It's like he looked at me and didn't see me. It's like he wasn't there. His blood pressure dropped down to 80 but when I went back later that day it was up to 115 and today when I went it was up too 145. Yesterday they were having to really watch his sedation because he was coming out of it more and so they would have to raise it which would drop his blood pressure. Today he was able to have it a little bit higher and still had high blood pressure. Nurse Taylor told me that he had came out of it a little today and he told Billy to squeeze his hand and he did and then he said let go and he did. He raised his sedation and then he didn't move or anything. When I was there today Taylor did the same thing when Billy started to move and he did the same thing with Billy holding my hand. Billy squeezed it and let go and then Taylor said Billy that's your wife now just relax. I am talking about Nurse Taylor a lot and I just wanted to say that he is the best nurse I could ever wish for. He is smart, very personable and just a great guy. Yesterday I was really tired, emotionally drained, and just not very happy. Today I was feeling a lot better and had a lot more energy. Right now I just miss him. Tonight a lot of things have been reminding me of him and wishing I could just talk to him. I watched The Office, and thought of how bad he wanted to see it. He was so upset that it was coming back the day he had surgery, and was so determined that he was going to watch it in the hospital. Little did he know he would still be asleep for a long time. Watching it just made me wish I was watching it with him and laughing with him at it. Nurse Taylor told me that he is pretty confident that they will sew him up tomorrow and wake him up. He said with how stable he is, how well his kidneys are working, and everything else he really thinks they will do it. He said the only reason that they wouldn't do it is if they think that sewing it up will cause swelling and cause damage to the tissues and such. He talked to the doctor while I was there and he said that the doctor is pretty confident they will do it too. They are going to take him back in to the operating room at 7:30 or 8 tomorrow morning. They will be done around 10 and then if he is sewed up he will go back to ICU and they will monitor him and slowly unsedate him and take away the tubes and it should be around noon when that would happen. He explained how out of it he would be for the first few hours and even most of they day. He said with how he has been fighting it he could just want to be alert and awake after a few hours or he could be miserable and wish they would put him back to sleep lol. I really am praying (hence the title) that they will be able to wake him up tomorrow. I remember how scared he was to be put out for 5 hours and now he has been for 3 days. I know that the reason he is trying to wake up is that he thinks that his surgery is over and that he is supposed too. He has no idea what is going on. If he isn't ready to be sewn up he will go back to ICU and be sedated for 2-3 more days. I am praying, praying that this will not be the case. If it is I will get through it but right now I really hope it's not. I am sorry that this is so long. I didn't intend it to be and didn't mean to ramble. Another thing is Billy looks a lot better and is not very puffy anymore. They pumped him with A LOT of fluid and he has drained most of it. Thank you everyone for your comments. I appreciate them so much! I will post again tomorrow as soon as I get a chance on what happens.