Dancing Machine

Connor got a Baby Einstein book that plays music and just loves it. He brings it to me who knows how many times a day to look at with him. Tonight he would push a button and then just start dancing. This continued for like 10 minutes and the laughs continued in Billy and I as well.

15 months

Today Connor is 15 months old! When he turned 14 months I did a post where I put 14 things that I love about him. Today I decided to do a slide show of pictures one for every month 0-15. There are 16 pictures because I did a newborn one too :)

luxor

Ok so I know that I have recently posted pictures of Connor on the computer but I had to put these ones too. Billy and I were watching T.V and Connor was being really quiet which usually means he is doing something he shouldn't be. Then all the sudden we hear music and Billy's like what is that? I go and look and Connor had opened up Luxor and was really excited about it.




Update on Billy
He is doing pretty good. He is sore of course but his recovery is going well. He has been eating instant carnation breakfast and drinking ensure to get calories because he still gets really full with eating just a little bit and just doesn't have much of an appetite. I have made him ramen noodles every day that is the only thing he wants. He had a few chips the other day and some pizza. He tried a little enchilada one night and his stomach did not agree with that lol. We got Mario cart for the wii (so fun!) and that entertained him most of yesterday. It is so cool you use a steering wheel and really have to steer. Different at 1st but way more fun once u get used to it. He weighed himself last week and has last 20 lbs since his surgery! Holy cow huh. Wish I could lose 20 lbs in 2 weeks lol. Crazy to lose that much weight that fast I wonder how much the tumor weighed too.

perfect weather!

Yesterday to me the weather was perfect! I love it when you can be outside for a while and you don't get too hot or too cold you could just stay out there forever because it feels so good! My little Connor The Explorer LOVES being outside. He goes to the door many times a day trying to get out and whining too. As soon as I say do you want to go outside he squeals with delight and runs to the door. He had fun yesterday playing in the bark outside of our house. I guess bark pile = sand pile to him lol

Sandcastles in the sand

This is from the t.v show How I Met Your Mother. Even if you don't watch the show watch this video it is hilarious! Robin on the show had a Canadian pop star past and this is a video from it.




Last season was when we were told about her pop star past and were shown this video Let's Go To The Mall. It is hilarious too!

fun with yogurt!

I was feeding Connor a Trix yogurt yesterday and he kept trying to grab the spoon so I let him take it. He did really good at putting the spoon in his mouth, and then he would hand it back to me, and I would dip it in the yogurt and hand him the spoon. Then he decided he wanted to try to dip it in the yogurt and feed it to himself. He did really well so I sat the yogurt on his highchair tray. He had his spoon in one hand but of course stuck his hand in the yogurt not the spoon. He thought this was so funny so then he dropped the spoon and stuck both hands in. He loved it. He then had his hands caked with yogurt and decided to clap. Clapping caused the yogurt to spray on to his face and he thought this was hilarious. I gave him a bath in the sink after and he figured out how to turn the faucet on and off and laughed really hard every time he did it. Cleaning him, the highchair, and the wall off was worth it just for his reactions :)

He's home!

I picked up Billy today at 9:00 a.m loaded up our 4 bags (yes 4, people brought him a lot of presents, plus he had Karri's lap top, and my dads portable dvd player). We stopped by Target to get his prescriptions and he decided he wanted to go in and use the electric wheelchair. First day out of the hospital and we have already had our 1st outing! It hurt his stomach because it like bumped every 5 seconds while he was moving it. He was really tired too. We bought some Ensure and Chocolate Carnation instant breakfast. The doctor said too so he can still get the calories since he isn't eating well. We got home and he wanted to take a shower I walked behind him but he did really well going up the stairs. After he took a shower he decided to just crash on the bed. I am so glad to have him home and he is so glad to be home as well :)

chuggin along

Billy got moved to a normal hospital room on Saturday. I am really glad that he got moved because that means he is improving so much but the room is tiny and the intermediate ICU room was big lol. I really just want Billy to come home, and he really wants to come home even more. I know that he needs to be in the hospital, and that I really don't want him to come home till he is well and ready. He really hopes he can come home by Thursday cuz of Lost lol. He still is so determined to go to Iron Man not this Friday but next. I feel bad because he is so bored. He is having a really hard time processing foods. Still on liquids and really struggling with it, and just doesn't really want to eat it. There is this walking chart at the hospital that says all the ways walking can help you and Billy showed me Digestion and it said Walking increases mobility, increases appetite, and relieves constipation or something like that. All 3 of those things are what he needs. He is doing really well at walking though and really likes to go walking. He doesn't even have to have physical therapy guys to hold on to anymore. He did lose some feeling in his leg from losing part of his nerve. He can't move it left. Right now it is easy to think of how we want things to be better but I can't help but think how much they could be worst! I just have to remind myself how lucky and grateful we are. I know that Satan wants me to feel like this sucks but I just have to keep praying to God and counting my blessings. It truly is a miracle that his results were benign and I really am humbled and full of gratitude because of it. Things could be a lot lot worst thats for sure! Billy really is doing well I am just ready for my husband to come home :)

Jumpin Jacks :)

Connor climbed up on the chair to be with daddy :)
Isn't he a cutie

My sister Kailey and Connor going down the slide

Today I took a break from the hospital and met my mom at jumpin jacks to play with Connor! It was a lot of fun! You can't really tell from the pics but he had a blast! In the last picture he is on the snail. He loved this snail. He would point to it and just squeal! He kept going over to this little play area for 5 and under and would just climb up and play. Such a big boy with no fear. He also would go to this mushroom and climb up and just play. He would get knocked down and shoved and fall and just get right back up. This kid has tough skin. He is definetely not a wuss. He would walk around with his chest puffed out just smiling and jabberin. Tonight I went to Mi Ranchito with a bunch of Orem Target friends. We went because Ashley Mason is moving to Seattle. Thank you Jenn for inviting me! It was a lot of fun and really nice to get out and spend time with girlfriends. I really needed it. Ashley I will miss you and am sad that Hannah and Connor won't be able to play! I am glad we can keep in touch through blogging though!

Prayers answered!

Today we found out that Billy's tumors are benign! This is the most AMAZING news ever! On Wikipedia it says

A benign tumor is a tumor that lacks all three of the malignant properties of a cancer. Thus, by definition, a benign tumor:

1. does not grow in an unlimited, aggressive manner
2. does not invade surrounding tissues
3. does not metastasize

Common examples of benign tumors include moles and uterine fibroids.

The term "benign" implies a mild and nonprogressive disease, and indeed, many kinds of benign tumor are harmless to the health. However, some neoplasms which are defined as 'benign tumors' because they lack the invasive properties of a cancer, may still produce negative health effects. Examples of this include tumors which produce a "mass effect" (compression of vital organs such as blood vessels)

That is exactly what happened. It produced a mass effect and got his blood vessels. Today was such a good day for Billy! He is doing so much better on the medications. He got his cathadar (spell?) removed. They got the pick line in and got all the iv's that were really heavy on his neck out. They took out another iv in his arm because the pick line is doing what it needs to do. He has less tubes and less iv's all together. He got moved to secondary ICU. The room is really nice and big. We miss Nurse Taylor already though. He got started on a liquid diet and is doing really well with it. He drank some broth, had some juice, and sprite, jello, and a pospcicle. Not all these things at once just this is what he had today :). He is doing really well at walking and wants to walk. He is going to the bathroom on his own and is excited about that. Seeing Billy today was like He's Billy again. He's back. He did a 180 and was happy, alert, and talkative today. His recovery is going well and I think it is all uphill now.

I can't tell you how happy I am that his pathology results came back and it is benign! It is a miracle, and a blessing. I am sooo so so grateful. I really believe that all of your thoughts and prayers and putting his name in the temple helped it be this way. I am so grateful to be surrounded by such good people. I have such amazing friends and family and I do not take it for granited!

I would like to pubically thank my Mom for watching Connor so much right now. He has been staying there and being tended by her all day and night pretty much. Also my mother in law. She tended him Monday and I could tell she was so exhausted. She just had surgery last Monday and I know it took a lot from her and I appreciate it so much! Connor has stayed their a couple nights through this whole ordeal as well, and I just appreciate you guys so much! Karri I appreciate u so much too. Thank you so much for visiting Billy every day and for watching Connor last week. Billy and I couldn't ask for a better friend. Clayton, Dad, Jenn Sekona, Ashley Mason, Dawn, Judy, Cristi, Mariann, Alex, and Ben thank you for coming and visiting Billy it means a lot! Everyone else that I didn't mention thank you thank you for your comments and prayers and EVERYTHING! Good day today :)

Still in ICU

Billy was maybe going to get out of ICU on Monday and then Monday they said today but he still needs to be in there. After he leaves his room he is in now he will need to go to a secondary ICU before he goes to a normal hospital room. Nurse Taylor told me that it's better for him to be in the ICU room he is now than a secondary one, because it's pretty much the same, and he knows Taylor and likes him and they have formed a bond. Monday morning when I went and saw Billy they had given him a sedative the night before to help him relax and sleep and the sedative in the morning made him a little loopy and hard for him to talk and pronounce words. It was scary to see him like that. He told me that he had a funny dream and that he was president of American Idol. He remembered things like me needing to pay the Target bill. He asked me the date and then told me that Juno & Alien vs. predator came out the 15th. He was loopy but pretty happy. They switched him off morphine to something else cuz morphine had given him nightmares. The one the switched him too was stronger than morphine. In the afternoon he thought he saw his dad and was having hallucinations and hearing things. He said that he was seeing red dots all over the wall. He said that his brain was going stupid. He didn't like the drugs. He said they were scary and made him feel very vulnerable. He told me that he couldn't do this, and he couldn't even get a drink. It was really sad. He had me put a towel over his eyes, but he said he could still see red. Even with his eyes closed. The nurse talked to his doctor on the phone and they decided to switch the drug again and not give him so much. It really helped a lot and he relaxed and went to sleep around 10:45. This morning when I called Nurse Taylor said Billy was feeling really down and really wanted to see Connor and wanted to see if we could work something out for Connor to see him. He got Billy in a wheelchair and wheeled him out to the patio and I was able to take Connor out there to see him. Billy's whole face lit up when he saw him and he said hey bubba. It was the happiest I have seen Billy since this whole ordeal. Today Billy was really tired and sad. I think he is getting depressed in there and who wouldn't in his condition. He was a lot more relaxed today and wasn't seeing red dots and hallucinating and stuff so that was good. He walked yesterday down the hall and today he walked even further. He is very determined too. Yesterday morning when he was still loopy from the sedative he said lets do this. stand up. It is a rough time and long hours in the hospital and I just want it to all be over but we will get through this trying time. I am starting to have a hard time with how much I am leaving Connor and not seeing him. I think I have seen him a total of 6 hours in the last 48. Over the weekend he didn't really notice but I think it is starting to take a toll on him too. He was so clingy to me after I picked him up yesterday and would cry if I put him down which is not like him. I think he knows something is going on he just doesn't know what. I am glad that he doesn't understand though and is young enough that it won't affect him and he wont remember. Thanks again every one for your comments, texts, etc. You all are helping me get through this!

he's awake!

They took him in this morning at 7:30 and sewed him up and were done an hour later! They said the surgery went phenomonal and couldn't have went any better! They gave him something that paralyzes you during the surgery so that he wouldn't try to move or twitch or anything while they were operating. It lasts 3-4 hours so they had to keep him highly sedated back in the ICU so that he wouldn't try to come out of it or even start to at all. Around 3:00 they woke him up and around 4 took the resperation tube out. He did really good with the tube on and didn't fight it. The 1st thing he asked when he woke up is where is my wedding ring. They told him before they would just put tape on it and then they decided to take it off and he didn't know. That is so cute that he said that. Once they told him it was Sunday he remembered Desperate Housewives was on tonight. He loved Nurse Taylor just like I do and kept asking for him. He asked his dad to give him a blessing and asked if Nurse Taylor would do it with him. This morning while he was still out we were able to partake of the sacrament in the ICU, and they put it to Billy's lips. It was kind of different but really neat. Billy stood today while they changed the sheets isn't that amazing! I called after I got off work and talked to the nurse and was going to go and see him. She said that he has kind of been a basket case tonight and that it's because he is highly medicated. She said that she had just given him some sedative and he didn't want to go to sleep because he was worried he wouldn't wake up. She told him to just relax and that he needed to rest. She said that she told asked him if he wanted me to come see him and he said No, that he didn't want me to see him like that. Pretty sad. I know he will be better tomorrow though and that he was just so out of it today. She said that he said he missed me and connor. how cute. She said I could come if I wanted but he would probably be out of it and it would be better if I came tomorrow morning, so I decided to just come home and I will go in the morning. The doctor said he should only have to be in the hospital for a week now instead of 2 because of how good he did in ICU. That is good and I know his recovery is going to be hard but that he can get through it. Seeing him in ICU showed me how strong he is and what a fighter he is.

Praying

So I wasn't going to post but I know that a lot of people are checking my blog to get an update, and seeing Liz's blog how much she has posted on Ryan's surgery I decided I would. Thanks for the inspiration Liz! Billy is doing really well. As well as he could be anyways. He has been very stable in the ICU. Yesterday he fought the sedation in the afternoon but got better at not fighting it at night and did a lot better with it today too. Nurse Taylor told me that he didn't give him a hard time today lol. They tell me that they can tell that he is a fighter and that he is strong, and that they can tell he will be determined to have a strong recovery. It was so weird yesterday when he was fighting the sedation to see him open his eyes. It's like he looked at me and didn't see me. It's like he wasn't there. His blood pressure dropped down to 80 but when I went back later that day it was up to 115 and today when I went it was up too 145. Yesterday they were having to really watch his sedation because he was coming out of it more and so they would have to raise it which would drop his blood pressure. Today he was able to have it a little bit higher and still had high blood pressure. Nurse Taylor told me that he had came out of it a little today and he told Billy to squeeze his hand and he did and then he said let go and he did. He raised his sedation and then he didn't move or anything. When I was there today Taylor did the same thing when Billy started to move and he did the same thing with Billy holding my hand. Billy squeezed it and let go and then Taylor said Billy that's your wife now just relax. I am talking about Nurse Taylor a lot and I just wanted to say that he is the best nurse I could ever wish for. He is smart, very personable and just a great guy. Yesterday I was really tired, emotionally drained, and just not very happy. Today I was feeling a lot better and had a lot more energy. Right now I just miss him. Tonight a lot of things have been reminding me of him and wishing I could just talk to him. I watched The Office, and thought of how bad he wanted to see it. He was so upset that it was coming back the day he had surgery, and was so determined that he was going to watch it in the hospital. Little did he know he would still be asleep for a long time. Watching it just made me wish I was watching it with him and laughing with him at it. Nurse Taylor told me that he is pretty confident that they will sew him up tomorrow and wake him up. He said with how stable he is, how well his kidneys are working, and everything else he really thinks they will do it. He said the only reason that they wouldn't do it is if they think that sewing it up will cause swelling and cause damage to the tissues and such. He talked to the doctor while I was there and he said that the doctor is pretty confident they will do it too. They are going to take him back in to the operating room at 7:30 or 8 tomorrow morning. They will be done around 10 and then if he is sewed up he will go back to ICU and they will monitor him and slowly unsedate him and take away the tubes and it should be around noon when that would happen. He explained how out of it he would be for the first few hours and even most of they day. He said with how he has been fighting it he could just want to be alert and awake after a few hours or he could be miserable and wish they would put him back to sleep lol. I really am praying (hence the title) that they will be able to wake him up tomorrow. I remember how scared he was to be put out for 5 hours and now he has been for 3 days. I know that the reason he is trying to wake up is that he thinks that his surgery is over and that he is supposed too. He has no idea what is going on. If he isn't ready to be sewn up he will go back to ICU and be sedated for 2-3 more days. I am praying, praying that this will not be the case. If it is I will get through it but right now I really hope it's not. I am sorry that this is so long. I didn't intend it to be and didn't mean to ramble. Another thing is Billy looks a lot better and is not very puffy anymore. They pumped him with A LOT of fluid and he has drained most of it. Thank you everyone for your comments. I appreciate them so much! I will post again tomorrow as soon as I get a chance on what happens.

ICU

Wow what a day. I am tired and it has been a long day but I wanted to hurry and do a quick post to let everyone know what's going on with Billy. I am sorry that I do not remember all the technical terms and will do my best to explain. Billy went in for surgery at 5:30 a.m, but they didn't get started till a little after 8. They were trying to figure everything out and what they were going to take out. Billy's dad called me around 10 to tell me that they had to take out some blood vessels and so it was going to go a little longer and be 5 or more hours for sure. He also said that the Doctor was having a vascular surgeon assist him because of this. The next update I got from Bill was around 2 he said that Billy's vein was going through his tumor. Apparently it was a big important vein, and I dont remember the term for it. Anyways so they had to cut the vein to take the tumor out. Then they took out a small, unimportant vein of his other leg and used it to make a grid to reconstruct the important vein. He lost a LOT of blood. He is going to be in ICU and unconcious till Sunday. They are keeping him sedated because they are keeping his wound open. They are keeping it open because of swelling, and breathing, and other reasons. Their is like a vaccum in it so that it doesn't get infected. His wound is in his stomach and it is mighty big. The doctor said the tumor was the size of a grapefruit. His incision right now is the size of a cantaloupe. It's pretty nasty and then their is a black sponge over it. So on Sunday they will take him in to the operating room and clean out the wound. See how he is doing and if he is ready to leave ICU. If not he will still be in there Monday. He is really puffy and tubes and iv's coming out of him everywhere. Not a fun thing to see at all. It brings back memories when my uncle Duane was in the ICU at the same hospital and was in a coma. Not good memories. Not fun to see anyone in ICU, especially loved ones. I will keep you all updated. If you call me and I don't call you back don't be offended. I was on the phone non stop today and it got really exhausting. I don't mean don't call me by any means. Listening to everyone's messages and seeing how much you care means a lot, and is helping me get through this. I am so glad to have so many people that care about me and I promise that I will call or text you when I feel I am ready. I had a lot of people help me out today and it so nice to have such good friends and family and so many people that want to help. You realize who your real friends are through times like this. Love u all!

Surgery

Billy's doctor called tonight and the surgery is still on for Thursday. He said that in his lower leg he might have to remove his whole nerve... I think it was L5 but I could be wrong. If so he will lose some muscle coordination, and strength in the muscle. It will be numb too. They might just remove 2 of the 4 but they want to try and get 3. He will be in the hospital for 5 or more days. I know that he can get through this and with the therapy they have today he can recooperate and will be fine. Pretty scary to think of but I just have to say it could be worst. Thanks everyone for your prayers and support and keep praying!

This weekend

On Saturday night Billy went to Priesthood session with my dad and Me, my mom, Taylor, Aunt Nadene and Karen went to my grandma's and watched August Rush. Me, my mom, and Karen had already seen it but we wanted my grandma and Nadene to see it because we loved it so much (if you haven't seen it, see it it is so cute and uplifting. Brings tears to your eyes.) My Grandma was in it the whole time. My mom and Nadene were talking through 3/4's of it but Gram's was not distracted and she loved it. Nadene and my mom got quiet at the end and then Jaqlyn was being loud. Since Billy and I were planning on going to my parent's on Sunday we decided to just sleepover at my parent's rather than drive back down. Me and Taylor played American Idol on the Wii till 11 pm and then Kailey got home from her party and we played Super Smash Brothers till 12:30 and then stayed up and talked till 1:30. It was a lot of fun and I love my sisters so much! Sunday we played more super smash brothers it is so fun to play with them. We are always a different person every time where as Billy likes to play as Pit every time (BORING!) I listened to conference as well and it was so nice to hear our new prophet speak. He is a great speaker and very witty too! I really enjoyed hearing him speak and a lot of other uplifting speakers. It is so nice to have the counsel and advice from them, and it helped me reflect on how lucky I am to be a member of the church.

Update on Connor: He is becoming quite the talker and learning new words every day! The funniest is that I taught him to say clock. He always points at things and babbles and I tell him what it is. One day last week he pointed to the clock so I said clock and he kept pointing at it and I kept saying it. Ever since he has said clock and gets so excited and says it over and over it is so cute! Other words he says are of course mommy and daddy, bath, ball, this, dog, duck, door, juice, crack for cracker, wii, car, elmo, monkey, fry, book, spiderman, banana, bubble, cup, and star. Total of 21 words! Pretty amazing for his age! I was a really early talker too. My mom told me I could sing a Christmas song at 16 months and I talked like a 5 year old when I was 2. He takes after his mom and is going to be a talker :).The animal sounds he says are roar, meow, moo, quack, baa, and eee for monkey. Billy says he can do dog and horse but I have yet to hear them.

Yellow like the sun!

What's Your True Color?

My Result: Yellow

You're yellow, the color of joy and energy — two things you definitely bring to everyone around you. It's hard for anyone to be sad or lonely in your presence; your sunny disposition and cheery outlook just won't allow it. The warmth of your personality shines through in the kindness you show friends and family (and strangers, too). Always ready with a lighthearted joke or heartfelt compliment, you know how to make people feel good about themselves, so they can't get enough of you. Yellow is a warm and inviting color for a warm and inviting person — you!

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com
/jumpto?test=colorogt&c=50652

Whenever I take color tests they always tell me that I'm yellow but I still like to take them to read what they say and find out more about myself! I remember in college taking the true color decoder personality quiz. My roommate had the book. You were supposed to have a strong color and one close to it so that you were two colors. I was 96% yellow and only 4 of my answers were not yellow and they were all different colors lol.