Some thoughts and pics

Sunday night we went to The First Presidency Devotional at Temple Square. I didn't even know that Billy had tried to get tickets. We got lucky and got them, and I am so glad. It was really nice to go and the talks were amazing. We got 4 tickets so we took our friends Adam and Julie.

Billy and I

Adam and Julie

Isn't this a good picture of us?! It seriously is one of my all time favorites of the 2 of us.

Group Picture

Ok now to the thoughts part of the title of this post. Billy is having a cat scan done tomorrow (Thursday). They told him he would have to have them done every 6 months and it's been 7 so they called and said it's time to schedule it. I knew it was coming and it really isn't that big of a deal but he does still have a tumor in there. It is 50 times smaller than the huge one he had in his abdomen. It is in his spine. The 3 tumors he had removed in April were miraculously benign but what if this one isn't? And what if they find more? I know I am sounding negative and I actually am pretty confident it is benign but there is a teeny part of me that worries it is not. I am much more confident that it is since the 3 other ones that were removed were though. Anyways so sometimes I feel like I try to forget that he still has a tumor. Thinking back of his surgery I just don't know if I or I guess we can go through another one. I try to forget that yes he does need to have this tumor removed. I am just so glad that he doesn't notice it and it isn't hurting him and causing him any pain. His giant one he had in his abdomen made it so he had to take a medical leave of absence from work a month before his surgery. At 1st they took him off the floor and switched him to cashiering, because he thought it was just all the walking around. Standing in one spot hurt just as bad so he tried using a stool and the whole like not elevating his leg wasn't working either. Anyways so I am grateful that he isn't in pain. I am also grateful that when he does have to have surgery and get this tumor removed it should not be as big of an ordeal. Another major worry is money. Wow I knew surgery was expensive but until you actually pay the bills you can't know how expensive. Also I knew there would be bills but I didn't realize how many different ones. We finally just have one left to pay off and the rest done and now it's time for a cat scan. I am amazed that we were able to pay all the bills but don't know if we could again and don't want to think about starting all over. I really shouldn't be worried, scared, or complaining because I have so much to be grateful for with how everything worked out with his last surgery. It was the hardest thing we have ever went through but I feel blessed to have Billy alive. I feel blessed that he is walking and that he doesn't have to use a cane. He lost some nerve, muscle, and vein. That is a lot of important stuff. If you met Billy you wouldn't even know he went through any of this. Anyways sorry if this is sounding like my posts from April because I think I have already said all this it just is fresh on my mind with his cat scan being tomorrow. For those of you that didn't read my blog in April and are wondering what the heck I am talking about just scroll down and click on April. One more thing I feel I need to talk about is how a fellow blogger friend wrote just what I needed to hear with all of these feelings. She said she felt prompted to share what she shared and I really think it was for me.
Her name is Betsy and she was such an inspiration I had to copy and paste this that she said (Hope you don't mind Bets)

God gives us opportunities (trials) to become better people, and more like Him. A weakness that you have is going to keep being pushed and be a thorn in your life until it becomes a strength. If every time a trial comes up to push that weakness and we just "grin and bear it" we will either become bitter from the pain we had to "endure", slowly progress, or stay the same (ie, not progress). It's like a strong wind pushing against you. If you "grin and bear it" you will either stay where you are or move backwards. However, if you decide to face that strong wind (trial) head on, you will make good ground and become stronger and make progress. So that's the way I see trials. The point of this life is to turn weaknesses into strengths, so when faced with a trial if we come at it from the perspective that we need to grow from that experience, not only will we be enduring it well, but we will be learning so much and that trial won't seem as hard. I also think that we are going to keep having trials related to our weaknesses until they become strengths, so if we hurry up and turn those weaknesses into strengths we won't have as many trials in that area of our life (or rather they won't seem like trials anymore). Afterall, there's no need to test a master is there?

Isn't she like an inspirational writer? I do feel like Billy and I took the "strong wind' head on and that we became stronger from it. I should not question God though if he thinks that we need to go through another trial I am willing to take whatever he throws my way head on and try to turn in into an opportunity. Going through everything with Billy's surgery showed me how strong both Billy and I are and that we are both stronger than I thought we were. Ok sorry that I am talking about something 6 months ago that I already blogged about many times I just felt like I needed to say these things.