Thanks everyone for your kind comments and concern and prayers! I don't have a phone right now so what I have gotten via online is it. We are hanging in there and I am not a basket case. Connor is just his happy go lucky self it's hard to stay down around him! I still don't understand why this had to happen and I just wish I knew what was wrong with him and that the Doctor's could figure it out. I still am shocked that it really did happen again. Billy and I used to joke with Connor telling him Connor you are 3 and you haven't broken your leg so don't break it! I really thought we could go a whole year without it happening. Last year when he broke it the Doctor did check a bunch of things to see what was wrong with him and was very thorough but didn't really have any answers. I was praying for answers a year ago and now I am going through that whole process again. I guess it's in the Lord's hands right? I am staying positive but am still sad about it at the same time. I am not letting guilt eat me alive. I try to live with no regrets. It happened I can't change it so we just have to deal with it. I really think if it wouldn't have happened when it did it still would have happened sooner or later with how easily it did. Connor is his happy self like I said but he has said some things that have pulled on my heart strings. He has said every day that his leg is all better and to take his cast off now. It's not broken. Billy's mom is Mama Nese to Connor (her name is Denise) and when she was here he said to her his leg didn't hurt anymore and we could take his cast off . So now everytime he says it is better he says It is better! I told Mama Nese it is. It's hard because I explain to him why he still has to wear his cast but he doesn't understand. Just like I don't understand why he keeps breaking it. He thinks it's normal to break your leg,. He said when Jack is 2 he will break his leg. How sad is that? He said now I can't go to preschool which was so sad that he thought that. I said yes you can! Yesterday he amazed me with his strength, determination, and independence. He kept trying to stand up and walk. It was so sad to watch how hard he would try but in a good way because I was so proud of him at the same time. He would say but I need to stand or but I need to walk. Yesterday he ended up going to the bathroom by himself, walking, and going up and down the stairs. He still mostly scoots but he does walk too. Holding on to things and not holding on to things. He has been standing up by himself a lot better today than yesterday. Yesterday when he tried without holding on to anything he almost did a hand stand. That was when he got frustrated and said but I need to stand. He never stopped trying though and today stands up great without holding on to anything. He has made such great progress in just one day it really is amazing. I am still sad about the no swimming or playing in water but I am mainly just sad that he can't be crazy energetic run around Connor. Connor has a lot of energy and runs circles and hoops around me. It doesn't seem to be making him too sad though and I am very happy for that. My cousin Julie is in town so we are going to go there tomorrow. Last time we went when Sherry was here and Connor was able to play on the slip and slide and jump on the tramp with the sprinkler under it. Tomorrow he won't be able to do these things and it's going to be hard. Saturday is a family reunion at the ranch. Connor could live at the ranch. It is going to be hard to and we are just going to go up to eat. If his leg wasn't broken we would be going up for hours. I was going to have a play date up there next week with some friends and there kids and Mommy Club up there the next week. Not anymore. I don't mean to complain but it does suck. It's not the end of the world though and we will get through it. It could be worst and I am grateful it is not and for the blessings we do have. Yes the rest of our summer isn't going to be as fun but I am grateful for all the fun things we already did and the fun we already had. I am not trying to get pity this blog is for journaling purposes. It does feel good to get all my feelings off my chest but I write it because I want to remember how I felt and what we went through.
Here is Connor with his cast! Age 3 1/2
Last year with his cast- Age 2 1/2
This is the best picture I could find with his cast when he was a baby and it's not a very good one. He was 11 months old.
Well I know your probably already sick of reading this post but sorry folks it's not over yet. I decided while I'm on my blogging frenzy I would update with my recent pictures as well! I like to get it all done in one post!
One of Connor's favorite things to do is SWING. He could sit in a swing for an hour if I would let him. This is something he can still do with a broken leg YAY.
He always has a huge smile on his face the whole time he is swinging. I love it.
We went to dollar night at the carnival for Fiesta Days in Spanish Fork. Connor had a blast on the rides and loved it!
He loved this slide and had a huge smile on his face the whole way down. Look at Jaqlyn's face haha.
He loved this ride
We went shopping up at Gateway to spend some of my birthday money. We rode the trax to the new library and Connor loved it.
Playing in the fountain at Gateway. He had never been with us so this was a 1st and he loved it. I was jealous he got to be all cooled off for shopping it was so that day!
My 26th birthday was on July 15th. I had my annual birthday party at my ranch and it was a lot of fun.
Dani and Whitney
Brothers Hudson and Noah. So cute!
Me and Kailey. Sadly this is the only picture of me on my birthday and it's not a very good one. I have no idea what we are talking about but due to our expressions it must have been something good!
The Taylor Family. So cute!
I love this picture of Connor and Jaqlyn swimming together side by side.
Don't worry I haven't forgotten about him :)
He is getting so big and it amazes me how much he changes in a week. He still sleeps the same as he did when he was born and wakes up every 2 to 3 hours. He was awake so much more in the day the last 3 days I thought for sure he would sleep longer at night but nope. I wish it would be consistent at least but it's not. Connor was the same and still is a pretty crappy sleeper and goes through phases of getting up in the night. I hoped my next one would be better and a good sleeper but nope he's just like Connor. He started smiling awake at 5 weeks old and now is 7 weeks old (tomorrow) and super smiley and has gotten a lot more responsive it's so cute. I love seeing his personality start to come out. He laughs in the morning but that is it. His laugh is the best thing in the world. It is like he just wants to get it all out but he can only get half of it out it's so cute!
One night I decided to play on photo booth with Connor and Jack.
Just being silly! I love how Jack is doing the same facial expression as us haha.
I love my boys!
Billy made this cake for my friend Hayley's baby's 1st birthday. It turned out soo cute!
4 comments:
Friend, you are a trooper. Keep up the good work, the faith and the optimism. You need to have those thigns to get through tough times and you are handeling them very well, I promise. Its good to have a good spill sometimes. I would never think of this post as a pitty party, fact is, sometimes life has those bummer times and that is ok! Bummer times make for better times around the corner! I hope they can help Conor out with his leg soon, that is just too often for a little boy to be in a cast! They hopefully can figure it out soon and come to a conclusion that will be awesome for him and his active life! Amber, you gotta be honest with yourself, accept that hard times happen, who cares if its summer, hard times are around the corner for all of us if you really think of it. Its how you handle it that matters and I htink you are handeling it with a great smile, just as a mom should for her family. With as much as it hurts, we as mom's are the bandaid of the family, so keep up your good work and faith and you'll get your family thorugh anything. Love you lots and admire you and your words. All your pictures are so awesome, from the bday to the carni.....I love them all. Love you friend!
What a little trooper! I am so sorry Amber. Your boys are so cute and are truly lucky to have you. We will say a little prayer for you guys!
Oh my goodness you poor woman. I'm so sorry about all of your emotions and stress and poor Connor. That last thing you should do is blame yourself and feel guilty--it is not even close to being your fault and was not preventable. He was doing a totally normal thing for 3 year old boys--tripping. I just hope that they can give you some answers and solutions soon. I would be completely frustrated too and feel the same way to do. You're a great mother and never question that. You're amazing, Amber, and beautiful in every way. Thank you for your words of encouragement and support! They mean a lot.
It was so good seeing you Amb! I only wish we could see cousins more often (John still asks me when he wakes up if he can play with cousins). You're awesome Amber. We are always keeping you in our prayers. When I tell John to include Connor in his prayers, I have to remind him that Connor is his friend with the cheetos :)
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